


Arise

by EnchantedApril



Series: A Superlative Life [1]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-07
Updated: 2016-05-09
Packaged: 2018-05-31 18:54:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 15,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6483088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EnchantedApril/pseuds/EnchantedApril
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>With the fallout from the red kryptonite turning Kara into a virtual hermit, Alex turns to the only person she thinks can help.  A shift to the "purely professional" relationship between Kara and Cat may lead to something unexpected.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It was closer to ten at night than nine when Alex stepped into the elevator at the nearly deserted CatCo building. She tapped her foot and absentmindedly reached to touch the sidearm that wasn't there as she watched the glowing numbers count up to the top floor. The idle thought occurred to her that a gun might actually have been a good thing to bring to a meeting with Cat Grant.

Her lips pursed together and the tapping of her foot became slightly more forceful. She did not want to be here. Hank did not want her to be here. And she knew damn well that Kara would be mortified if she knew she was here. But Kara was the whole reason for her presence. Kara, who was at that moment lying nearly catatonic on her sofa, staring at the television and covered under a mound of blankets.

She had been that way for three days, ever since her abysmally received attempt to stop the bank robbery in the financial district. Alex knew this because she'd stopped by to talk to her no less than a dozen times, and the only thing that had changed about the scene in the living area was the television station. It had started out on an all news station - with nearly continuous stories about Supergirl - and she herself had switched it over to the Turner Classic Movies station, refusing to listen to another talking head berate her sister, and refusing to let her sister listen to it either.

Kara had barely spoken to her during those visits, and had completely refused to look at her, although she had been subtle about it, finding things to focus on that didn't include Alex's deep brown eyes or sincere expression, or sprained wrist. It didn't matter how many times Alex assured her that they were 'going to be okay', it was clear that Kara didn't think that was true. Didn't think she deserved forgiveness. Thought that she had earned all the animosity that came through in the on-the-street interviews she'd seen on the news.

And that was why Alex was here in CatCo, tapping away while the elevator rose and gritting her teeth while she thought of what to say to Cat Grant, "Queen of All Media", to get her to go slumming and talk some sense into her sister.

Finally a muted tone signaled her arrival on the top floor, and Alex moved forward a split second before the doors parted, stepping through them before they were even fully open. The lights in the bullpen were dimmed due to the hour, but there was brighter light coming from the fishbowl of Cat's office, and Alex wasted no time crossing the large room and unceremoniously shoving the frosted glass door open.

Cat, looked up, actually startled, but before any fear could show on her face she tamped it down and then took a breath, recognizing the woman who was suddenly standing in her inner sanctum.

"I see that security is as sharp as ever," she commented dryly, "or did you just knock them all senseless before you came up here all full-on Trinity?" she continued, and The Matrix reference was not lost on Alex who had heard a similar comparison from Kara once after a particularly impressive fight.

The corner of Alex's mouth twitched into something closer to a sneer than a smile, but a small bit of tension left her body. As much as she personally disliked Cat Grant, she could also respect her as a woman with as much toughness as herself. Just in much more expensive clothes. And heels.

"Let's not bother with any games, okay?" she said shortly, moving closer to Cat's desk.

"No, no, by all means, let's get right to the point. Agent Scully, was it? Or maybe Danvers?" Cat moved from behind her desk and went to pour herself a drink before facing Alex.

Alex had to admit that she was slightly surprised at Cat's forthrightness. She had expected the woman to know the truth about her assistant, but not herself. Of course she wasn't going to let Cat know that.

"Good, so I don't have to go over the basics with you," she said instead.

Cat turned and motioned to the pristine white sofa. "Oh, feel free to prattle on with whatever script the government has given you. Something about me never seeing the light of day again if I spill your sister's secret? Maybe a reference to a black bag and an unmarked car with tinted windows?"

Alex narrowed her eyes and wished that Cat had poured a drink for her.

"I didn't come here in an official capacity," she said, "although now that you mention it, pulling a bag over your head would be extremely satisfying."

Cat tilted her head and arched one eyebrow in a clear 'touché' and sat down on the sofa.

"We'll come on then, sit down and tell me why you're here if not to threaten me."

Alex reluctantly gave up her position of power in the room and sat down on the sofa across from Cat. She was at least grateful that even seated she was a couple of inches taller than the other woman.

"Obviously you know about Kara," she started.

"Know that her earlier ruse was some elaborate trick? Why yes, it would be tough to miss that she suddenly went all heartless and power-mad at the same time as dear sweet Supergirl. To say nothing of how both of their fashion senses finally improved."

Alex scowled, really not liking Cat Grant, and beginning to doubt if this was a good idea.

"Could you not do that?" she said tightly.

"What?" Cat asked, honestly confused, because to her, off-the-cuff insults were as natural as breathing.

"Could you not denigrate my sister when I'm sitting right here? I don't care what she did this week, she's spent two years as your virtual slave here, earning no visible respect from you, and over the past six months as Supergirl, she's saved your life numerous times. So do me a favor and cut the crap, because if that," and she waved her hand to indicate Cat's earlier words, "is all you think she deserves from you then I'm just wasting my time here."

Cat visibly deflated,looking suddenly smaller than her already diminutive size. She set her glass down on the coffee table, the sound seeming too loud in the otherwise silent room. No coaster. Kara would have made sure there were coasters on the table instead of scattered around different surfaces in the office. She watched the cubes of ice swirl around the amber liquid and when they stopped she softly cleared her throat.

"I'm sorry," she said slowly, the words feeling very foreign to her and the genuine feeling behind them even more so. "Of course I realize everything that Kara does for me, in both of her personas, but lavish praise isn't something I hand out to anyone."

"No kidding," Alex scoffed.

"Well I didn't earn this office by playing little Mary Sunshine with everyone," Cat replied with slightly more bite.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's a man's world, toughness is the only thing people value, no one ever got anywhere being nice," Alex countered. "Have you noticed what I do for a living? I'm not exactly the poster child for sweet and retiring, but I manage to get by without being a total bitch."

Cat's eyes flashed at that, but before she could speak, Alex held up her hand.

"Sorry," she said. "I didn't mean to get so personal or so off-track. We can compare battle scars from the rat race another time."

Cat closed her mouth and nodded sharply. 

"Fine," she said after a moment. "Why don't you tell me what you're doing here and we can both get on with it."

Alex looked Cat right in the eye for a moment, as if sizing up her sincerity, and then cut right to the chase. 

"I need you to go talk to Kara."

The look of confusion on Cat's face was almost comical. 

"You need me to go talk to your sister? About what, exactly? How she's missed a week of work with barely a call and would have been fired if she was anyone else?"

Alex actually smiled and slapped her hands on her thighs. 

"That's a great start."

"And what the hell is that supposed to accomplish?"

"Look. Kara hasn't moved from her sofa in over three days."

Cat looked surprised and taken aback at that piece of knowledge.

"Is she hurt? She came to me and explained something of what happened during her - psychotic break, shall we say - but she didn't tell me it was still affecting her." 

She sounded actually concerned, and Alex was pleased. Maybe this wasn't a waste of time after all.

"She isn't hurt. Not physically, anyway. She's feeling depressed and worthless and hopeless."

"And a pep talk from me is supposed to help?" Cat actually let out a bark of laughter.

Alex just looked at her and arched one eyebrow.

"My sister respects you. God help her, she actually likes you. And right now, hearing you tell her that she needs to get the hell back on her feet is exactly what she needs to hear. Knowing that you care enough to go to her and tell her that. Knowing that you, at least, forgive her for what happened last week."

"And hearing all that from her obviously very protective sister isn't enough?"

Alex glanced down at her hands and took a couple of deep breaths.

"Kara said some things - did some things - while she was "under the influence" and it doesn't matter what I tell her, she doesn't believe me right now and she won't forgive herself."

"Do you?" Cat asked, suddenly very curious about the answer, and even more curious about what had passed between the two women who were clearly very close.

"Of course I do!" Alex snapped, eyes flashing, but then she took another breath and looked down again. "A short while ago, something happened to Kara. I won't go into it, but I thought - I wasn't sure if she was going to survive."

The look of shock from Cat was one she tried to instantly cover by picking up her glass again and taking a long drink.

"Anyway, the whole thing made me think of some things - remember some things - and really regret some things from the past and appreciate my sister for who she is. The things Kara said to me were true in some ways, but they were also things I had already spent time thinking about and in the end they were nothing compared to what she has given me. What she means to me." Alex took a breath and looked at Cat. "So yes, I forgave her because there was truth to what she said but I'd already pushed past it to a place where it just didn't matter so much any more. But she doesn't believe that she deserves to be forgiven. For what she said and did to me and everyone else in this city."

Cat inclined her head towards Alex's still-wrapped forearm.

"She did that to you?"

"Yes," Alex replied shortly.

Cat could tell that there was more, but for once she held back her instincts and didn't press.

"I'll go talk to her."


	2. Chapter 2

Ordinarily, Cat Grant did not drive. She preferred sit in the back seat of a spacious town car, where she was able to ignore traffic and slow pedestrians in the crosswalks and idiot drivers who cut people off without warning. However, it was Saturday afternoon and her driver was currently waiting outside of Carter's school while he participated in his robotics club. And as she approached the artsy looking building where her assistant lived, she was reminded that embracing his inner nerd and making like-minded friends was in part spurred by the woman in question.

She had also been reluctant to bring on the sort of attention that a chauffeured car would cause in Kara Danvers' neighborhood. She didn't need anyone questioning her presence or, worse yet, trying to romantically link her to her half-her-age-and-twice-as-perky assistant. She was sure that no one would believe that she was just there to check up on the woman because of her exceptional professional skills. She was equally sure that they would be right.

Of course to herself, she could just pass her visit off as being forced by Kara's somewhat frightening (though she would never admit it) sister. If she was being more honest with herself, which she tried to limit to her weekly therapy sessions, she would admit that she had been worried about her assistant and thinking about her for reasons which went above purely professional.

"Purely professional", what a disaster. She'd skipped "professional" and gone straight to "purely vindictive" the moment she'd hired Siobhan. And she could blame it on anger on behalf of her eldest son, but again, if she was being truthful, it had more to do with her own feelings. When Kara had put an end to her very brief relationship with Adam, Cat couldn't help but think that she was part of the reason. It wasn't just that the two younger people were a poor match, it was that Kara didn't want to be forced any closer to her bitch-on-wheels boss than she already was on a daily basis. Why she cared at all about what Kara felt for her was something she was not going to be truthful about even in therapy. She knew she felt some stirrings of attraction for the younger woman. Anyone in their right mind would if they worked as closely with her as she did. But she wasn't going to go there, and that wasn't what this was about.

She circled the block three times under the pretense of looking for a closer parking spot, and finally just pulled up to the curb and cut the engine. For the first time in a long time, she felt under-prepared for an interview. She would have been happier putting things off for another few days, but had gotten the distinct impression that the black bag scenario still wasn't out of the question if she waited too long to do as Alex had asked.

"You need to do this soon. No waiting around until you're in the mood," the dark-eyed woman had said.

There had been an urgency there and Cat had been almost required to question it.

"I might be going away for a while," Alex had answered, guardedly. "I'm sure you've heard stories about how the whole fight with Supergirl ended. And I'm sure you've seen some grainy cell-phone video you've been just dying to verify. So yeah, someone else I care about is in trouble too, and I can't help them until I know Kara will be okay without me."

"She won't be, you know," Cat had replied, and she wasn't sure why she said that when she hadn't even seen the two of them together, but somehow she knew how close they were; sensed that some of Supergirl's power came from the woman sitting across from her. "So whatever you're planning, I hope it's a short-term solution."

Alex had nodded then without saying anything else about it, and had stood to leave while asking Cat if she had her sister's address. Naturally Cat had scoffed at the idea that she wouldn't know where her dedicated assistant lived after two years of employment. Anyway, she could get all that information from HR.

And that was how their meeting had ended, and how Cat had ended up parked and staring up at the fourth floor windows of a building she would normally never set foot in, looking for the silhouette of a slender young woman with a ridiculous ponytail hairstyle. 

She could have sat there all afternoon and seen nothing, however, because the person in that apartment was not moving.

Alex had been by that morning and had opened the windows to let in some air, and had forced Kara to drink some coffee and eat a donut. She had wanted to force her to take a shower and put on some decent clothes, but she'd known it would've been futile. So now a breeze blew through the wide open space of Kara's apartment and where in the past she would have breathed it in, enjoying each scent, now she just pulled another blanket from the back of her sofa and tried to ignore everything.

She knew that she was being selfish. Alex was worried about her, and she didn't need that when she was also worried about J'onn who was still sitting in a cell at the DEO. She also knew that the words everyone had told her were probably true. Eventually the city would forgive her. Eventually they would all embrace Supergirl again. The problem was that Kara couldn't do either of those things.

Over her time as Supergirl, she had been in a few very frightening and dangerous situations, but nothing compared with the fear she now felt towards herself. A fear of the dark parts that she tried so hard to smother and the anger which she thought she had successfully overcome. But no, one exposure to a mind-altering substance and everything came roaring to the surface, and that was what made Kara afraid. This time it had been Max Lord's fault, but it could have been some other scientist, or alien or human enemy out to turn people against her. Who knew if something else might release those feelings again? How was she supposed to function knowing that she could have injured dozens of people and thrown her mentor off of a sky scraper balcony? How could she forget the fact that she had almost murdered her sister? It wasn't just that she felt guilty for everything she had done; she was terrified of losing control and having it happen all over again.

At first she had tried to push past the memories of her evil self, but after seeing innocent people huddling behind the bank robbers - as if criminals with guns were preferable to her - she just couldn't do it anymore. Winn and James had been by numerous times, alternately trying to cheer her up and scare her back to work with tales of Ms Grant's increasing agitation. Whenever Alex wasn't at the DEO trying to get J'onn released, she was at the apartment talking to her, trying to understand her, and telling her again and again that things would get better.

But no one had been able to get her to move from her self-imposed "sofa of solitude" and that just made one more selfish item to add into the 'evil Kara' list as far as she was concerned. She was hoping that Alex would stay away for longer this time. She needed time to think and plan. Maybe she would call Clark and ask him to help. Surely he must have gone through incidents where he couldn't trust himself with his powers. James had even said that he'd been exposed to red kryptonite himself. Yes, she would get up and eat some of the food that Alex had brought over, and then call him. Just as soon as the movie ended. She had no idea that the woman currently on her way up to the apartment had very different ideas.

The elevator in Kara's building wasn't particularly old, but that didn't stop Cat from flinching at each and every sound it made as it travelled up to the fourth floor. Yet in a strange way she was grateful for the clunky, noisy thing, because the fear of falling was making her angry and she had a feeling that Kara needed someone to stop coddling her and just get furious with her and demand that she pull herself together.

With that thought in mind, she marched down the hallway, heels clacking, mind whirling, and knocked loudly on the white wooden door. When no one answered it, she called out in her most imperious voice.

"Open the door, Keira! I know you're in there!" There was some slight shuffling from inside, but still the door remained closed. "You threw me off of my own balcony," she hissed, knowing that Kara could hear her. "The least you owe me is five minutes to tell you to get off your ass and get back to work."

The door opened then with a whoosh, and Cat felt all of the anger drain out of her as she saw the broken woman who stood just inside.

"Kara?" she said, and the fact that she used her real name was not lost on her. "May I come in? I'm not accustomed to standing around in public hallways chatting with the help," and the words were biting but her tone was less-so as she hastily rethought her plan to whip Kara back into shape.

"Ms Grant!" Kara finally gasped on an exhale, seeming to come out of her shock-induced silence. "Yes, of course, come... why? how? what are you doing here?"

Kara had been firmly convinced that if her actions the previous week had not led to her dismissal, than her absence this week surely must have. Her brow furrowed as she wondered if Cat had come to fire her in person, just so that she could have the satisfaction of yelling at her one more time.

"I came to find out why my assistant is allowing my productivity to plummet and why Supergirl has been letting petty criminals get the better of this city."

"What?" Kara stood in surprise at Cat's simple pronouncement of the truth. She went to fiddle with the glasses she hadn't bothered to put on in over a week, and then cleared her throat awkwardly and continued, "Ms Grant, we've already been over - "

"Oh don't bother, Kara," Cat responded while rolling her eyes and roaming around the living area of the apartment, noting the boxes of half-eaten take-out food on the counter and the pile of used tissues near the sofa. "I'm not a complete imbecile and your sister isn't even keeping up that ruse anymore, so you might as well drop it."

"My sister? Alex? You've spoken to Alex?" Kara was becoming more confused by the second.

"Yes I have. She paid me a visit last night." She looked, with distaste, at one of the chairs in the livingroom before sitting down on it gingerly. "Your sister can be a very persuasive woman. Not to mention scary." Her eyes met Kara's and held them, "And if you tell her I said that, you really will be fired."

"I'm not already fired?" 

Kara shook her head as if shaking it would suddenly make the current situation make sense. Nope, didn't work. She flopped back down onto the sofa and stared at Cat with wide, honest eyes, elbows resting on her thighs, and hands spread in front of her.

"I - I'm just not understanding any of this, Ms Grant. Not you knowing the truth, or you talking to Alex, and most especially not NOT being fired." She nervously tangled her fingers together. "I threw you off a building," she said helplessly.

"And I thought we already talked about that. Or does it not count if you're in the suit? Am I supposed to pretend you dont' know what we've already said?"

"Yes, we spoke, but - things happened after that."

"You mean things like people not instantly flocking back to you? Sort of exactly like we said would happen?" Cat said dryly, beginning to feel her way around the conversation. She couldn't draw upon anger she no longer felt, but she didn't want to validate Kara's self-pity either

"It isn't just that, Ms Grant," Kara said, slumping down in her seat and pulling a blanket over her lap. "Look, you don't even like me, and this definitely doesn't fall under "professional", so you can just go and I'll tell Alex that you stopped by and I'll tell her not to bother you again."

"Kara," there was her name again, and Cat swept her hand over her face, feeling tired and suddenly old. "I - I don't dislike you," was as close as she would let herself come to a positive affirmation, "and the line between personal and professional - " she grimaced. If there was one things she hated, it was admitting regret. "I should never have taking things that far. Pushing you and Adam together and then getting angry when it didn't work out? That was unprofessional. And him leaving because you wouldn't date him wasn't your fault. It was my fault for not giving him another good reason to stay."

"You did give him reasons, Ms Grant. You were really trying." Kara fell back into her role of sympathetic confidante as easily as breathing.

Cat shook her head.

"That's not the point, Kara. I shouldn't have taken my anger out on you. We talked about finding the anger behind the anger and I was just too afraid to do that."

"But why?"

Cat took a long breath and then another.

"Because I didn't want to examine why I was as angry at myself for using you to get close to Adam as I was for being a crappy mother in the first place."

"Ms Grant, no. You aren't. And as far as me and Adam... You didn't' force me to go out - okay, maybe you did that one time - but you didn't force anything else to happen between us. You didn't treat me any worse than any other employee."

Kara seemed to realize after the fact that she was rather damning with faint praise, and she started to open her mouth to babble out a retraction, but Cat stopped her.

"That's just it. You aren't just any other employee to me."

"Because of Supergirl," Kara said, not bothering to hide the sting.

"No, because you're the only one I've been able to stand having by my side for over two years." She paused and let that settle into Kara's mind. "We may dance around it a lot, and that's my fault... It's who I am... cagey, always looking for the other person's angle, afraid of any kind of real relationship. But in the end you have to know that I think of you as more than just an employee." She stretched her hand out to cover Kara's.

It was all it took for Kara's carefully constructed mask of detachment to crumble, and moments later she was sobbing and babbling out her fears and regrets and sorrows while she bent over her lap, resting her forehead on clasped hands. When Cat Grant actually moved to the tissue-strewn sofa and wrapped an arm around shaking shoulders, it was almost enough to start off another round of sobs.

When the last tissue in the box had been used and the torrents of emotion had finally ebbed, both women were exhausted. Kara sniffled one last time and then cast a look of slight trepidation towards her boss, as if she expected her to fly off into a temper at any moment, because soothing really wasn't her forte. Cat quickly pulled back and haphazardly straightened her wrinkled dress.

"Well," she said, "It seems like you had a lot to get off your chest. Hopefully that's cleared things up for you and you'll be back at your desk on Monday, with my latte hot as usual."

"But... I still..." Kara floundered.

"Still haven't what? Gotten to the root of every bad thought you've ever had? Discovered a solution to stop the one in a million chance of this happening again? Won over the hearts of the city and, more importantly, me?"

Her words were sarcastic and cutting, but as the last ones passed her lips she suddenly saw the different ways they could be taken and cut herself off with a cough.

"Nothing is going to be perfect, Keira. Not even you. The sooner you realize that, the better. You are doing the best that you can and you obviously have people around you who are willing to help. So stop wallowing and get the hell back on the horse. Or for God's sake, at least take a shower and burn those ridiculous plaid pants."

Cat's words had pushed her from near tears again back to a feeling of hopefulness, but she still gave a cry of mock indignation "Hey! They're jammy pants!"

"They're hideous," Cat said as she rose from the sofa.

"Yes, Ms Grant," Kara said with a smirk.

"And when we're not in the office, call me Cat."

Kara gave a genuine smile then and nodded slightly while following her boss to the door.

"Carter is going to be getting home shortly, and I need to beat him there, but stop making excuses. Shower, food and work on Monday. Consider that an order."

Kara held the door open as she said, "Yes, Ms Gr- Cat," she corrected herself off Cat's glare.

"Better. I will see you on Monday."

She walked away not bothering to watch Kara close her door and by the time she got down to her car she felt all the energy drain from her body. She didn't know what the hell can of worms Alex Danvers had forced her to open, but she hoped she could handle it now that she had.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

When Alex Danvers walked into her sister's apartment on Sunday morning, she dropped her bag on the floor and almost panicked when she saw that the sofa was abandoned.

"Kara? Kara!" she called out at increasing volume.

She only breathed a sigh of relief when she heard that familiar voice coming from the direction of the bathroom.

"I'll be right out, Alex!"

A few minutes later, the other woman emerged, fully dressed and toweling her hair dry. She was wearing a simple peach colored sun dress, and Alex thought she could even see a hint of makeup around her eyes.

"Whoa! Look who's back!" she said with a wide grin. "You have no idea how happy I am to see you walking around and looking somewhat human again - well, you know what I mean," she finished with a glib remark and a peck on her sister's cheek.

"Yes, well I had a visitor yesterday..."

"Oh, really?"

Kara just leveled a steely gaze at the brunette before saying, "You can drop the innocent act, Alex. Ms Grant told me that you made her come over. And I don't want to know exactly how you did that."

Alex's mouth twisted into an exaggerated scowl. "I should have known she wouldn't keep her mouth shut."

"And you should have known better than to try to lie about it. I mean I've known you since I was fourteen. I can tell when you're lying."

"You mean like how I worked for a secret government agency for years, right under your nose."

"Well except for that."

"Right, except for that," Alex said, and then laughed, just so happy to be bantering in that old familiar way again.

She was under no illusions about everything being back to normal, but at least some of the heavy cloud of guilt and doom had lifted.

"Anyway, Ms Grant stopped by and we talked for a little while. Cleared the air, I guess. I'm not fired, and she's expecting me back tomorrow morning bright and early, so I figured I should get back into the routine now."

"Does that routine include Noonan's?"

"But of course, my dear sister, and I'll even let you pay."

The rest of the day was spent in easy and completely normal pursuits, with Alex along for the ride, unobtrusively making sure that Kara didn't backslide into self-recrimination every time she saw some anti-Supergirl sentiment splashed across a newspaper. Grocery shopping, laundry, cleaning, and an afternoon movie marathon, complete with popcorn, Winn and James, rounded out the day nicely. Kara was feeling almost comfortable in her own skin again by the time the sun set behind the CatCo tower.

It was only once she was alone in bed, with moonlight stretching across her bed, and the hours stretching into the night, that she started to feel doubtful and afraid again. That was when she practiced the deep breathing exercises Clark had emailed to her, and tried picturing peaceful scenes instead of wanton destruction. Still, it was several hours before she was able to roll over and slip into a semi-peaceful sleep.

To her surprise, the next morning did not go as horribly as she had expected. Everyone at the office treated her the same as always. Apparently it was like many psychologists said: people were too wrapped up in their own issues to be looking at yours. No one questioned her on her sudden attitude and wardrobe change - and change back - and aside from Sioban's now empty desk, things went on as normal. Even Cat Grant treated her the same.

Well, if she was truthful, Cat treated her better than she had recently. They were back to their "old" relationship and neither of them mentioned anything about professionalism. The only slight change was that Cat accidentally called her by her correct name once in a while.

To say that she was relieved would be an enormous understatement. She now felt that at least one part of her life was in order. Now she needed to fix the DEO part and the Supergirl part. Over the next several days, the Supergirl part was easy, if slow-going. She helped out where she could and stepped back the minute anyone seemed uneasy in her presence. A few people gave her genuine thanks and more at had at least lost their fear of her, so she counted it as baby-steps back to where she had once been in their eyes. She knew that Cat was trying to help, as much as she denied it. CatCo had always been quick to publicize any stories about Supergirl, but now they were almost always top news items even if the actions in question were less than amazing. Kara was fairly certain that her rescue of a family of ducklings from a storm drain was not exactly breaking news.

Unfortunately, the DEO part of her life was not so easy to repair. There seemed to be nothing she could do to help J'onn, and Alex was giving her not-so-subtle hints that she expected to be detained herself before long. The military had stepped in to take control and were questioning everyone. Kara felt as helpless as the day she'd blown out her powers. This was something that strength and speed could not overcome and her guilt rose up again like a spectre before her. If she had never lost control; if she had never unleashed all her anger; if she had never tried to kill her own sister, then none of this would be happening.

It was exactly one week before the worst happened, and Kara was despondent. The idea of her sister and her newly found father-figure being taken away to be used as lab rats made her physically ill in a way that no germ or virus could. The knowledge that she would most likely never see them again, alive or dead, was impossible to tolerate. And yet she felt that she had almost no control over the situation. She could appeal to Lucy Lane, but if the other woman refused to hear her or, worse yet, revealed her true identity to the world, then there was nothing she could do about it. And while she knew that Alex and J'onn did not deserve the treatment they were receiving, there was a not-so-small part of herself that believed that she herself deserved whatever bad things befell her.

So the relief when Lucy agreed to help, followed soon by the anguish of being once again parted from her sister for some indeterminable time, and then the small bit of hope when Lucy was instated as director of the DEO, all had her thoughts, emotions and very soul twisting into a Gordian knot which she doubted could ever be undone. She wasn't exactly sure what drove her to a certain balcony at the CatCo building so very late that night, except that it was perhaps the only place where she now felt she could be herself without trying to repair a friendship or build some ill-fated romance, or be seen as some sort of hero to a dozen agents when she no longer felt like one at all. 

She didn't even expect Cat to be there, but she knew that if she was, she wouldn't get false platitudes or overly kind gestures. Cat didn't make her feel like she had to be perfect. She definitely called her out on it when she wasn't, but not to berate her; to help her see how she could be better. And the hope that she could be better and that things could get better was something that Kara desperately needed.

It was after midnight when she landed, and as expected, all of the lights in Cat's office were dimmed, as well as the bullpen beyond. Kara let out a long breath and turned to look out over the city while she leaned on the concrete wall. After a while, she found herself sinking into one of the plush upholstered chairs, still reluctant to go back to her empty loft, knowing that all-night Netflix marathons and arguing over Chinese appetizers were things she might not ever be able to look forward to again. When the tears started making silvery tracks down her cheeks, barely illuminated by the city glare and the hazy moonlight, she hardly noticed them, and didn't bother trying to brush them away.

When she heard soft sounds from inside the building, sometime later, she assumed it was a security guard making his rounds, and sank further into her chair to make certain she couldn't be seen from inside. She knew that she should just use a burst of super speed to leave and head home, but a bone-deep weariness had filled her body and though she knew it was all in her mind, she didn't feel prepared to fight it off yet. However, when she heard those sounds grow closer and then the door slid open, she wished that she had made a different decision. It was too late now to escape undetected, and she would just have to explain to the guard why she was hanging out on Cat Grant's private balcony.

She quickly stood up, wiping at her face and running a hand through tangled hair as she turned towards the door. The gentle outdoor lights flickered on and she was startled to find herself face to face with Cat.

"Ms Gra - Cat?" she shook her head and corrected herself. "What are you doing here?"

"Well," Cat began, "when my phone alerted me to an intruder on my balcony, I assumed it would have to be you."

"Alarm? Oh God, I set off an alarm? I'm so sorry. Did security call you?"  
Cat waved away her concerns.

"No, no, nothing so official. After our last little meeting here, I installed a motion-sensitive alarm."

"So security must know. Are there pictures too?" Kara asked, mortified at the idea of strangers watching her cry like the lost girl she felt like.

"I told you, it's nothing so official. Three hours one Saturday afternoon when Carter was with his father, and a hundred-dollar kit from Amazon. I thought... Well, I considered that you seemed to feel very safe here, and that there might come a time when you landed here after an injury or something. I wanted to be alerted in case your sister didn't know and you couldn't call anyone else."

Kara looked back over the city at the mention of Alex, and Cat wasn't a media giant for nothing.

"Something happened with Agent Badass?" she asked, trying to sound unconcerned.

A simple nod was the only response she got.

Cat joined her where she had walked up to the edge of the balcony again, and said, "She mentioned that she might have to go away. She wanted you sorted out before she went."

That caused a burst of fake laughter as Kara choked back a sob and pinched the bridge of her nose to keep anymore tears from falling.

"That sounds like Alex," she said, shaking her head and staring down at her hands, gripping white-knuckled on the ledge. "Did she tell you I'm the reason she might have to leave? That my stupid, angry, inner voice put her and someone else in danger?"

"No," Cat answered simply. "She didn't seem angry or upset, just resigned." She turned to look at Kara's profile, sharply outlined against the night sky. "You know she didn't blame you for anything, don't you? I mean I only met her once, but it was obvious that she just wanted to protect you and make sure that you were taken care of if she wasn't around to do it herself."

"Of course she did, because protecting and taking care of me has been her job since I arrived on this planet," Kara replied, sounding almost bitter, but not on her own behalf. "Me just being here has cost her a life of her own, and now my actions could cost her her freedom. Her father was taken from her less than a year after her family took me in. That was my fault. Trying to keep me safe put him in danger."

The self-recriminations just poured forth, and Cat felt herself growing more and more angry with each one until finally she couldn't contain her ire.

"And did it never occur to you to blame anyone besides yourself?" she asked, surprising Kara with the tone of her voice. "If I remember correctly, you were a child when you arrived here."

"My parents sent me away from Krypton because the planet was self-destructing and my aunt and uncle were sending my baby cousin here," Kara explained as if it all made perfect logical sense. "My craft just went off course and kept me from arriving until he was already grown."

"Right. So your parents sent a child off to a different world in order to play nanny for the "golden child"," she summarized. "And then your cousin handed you off to some other family to raise. And then your foster father made his own decisions to do what he thought would keep you safe."

"Well..."

"Well, nothing! I'm hearing about a lot of adults who made a lot of decisions that affected you without, I assume, ever asking for your input. Yet here you stand taking the blame for all of them. And then you heap on the blame for things that happened when you were out of your mind on some sort of bad Kryptonian-LSD trip. Tell me, do you ever get tired of shouldering absolutely all the responsibility for everything that happens around you?"

The anger and bitterness in Cat's voice was unmistakable, and the only thing difficult for Kara to believe was that it wasn't directed at her. It was directed at everyone who had ever played a part in leading her to be one of the last of her kind.

"I never..." Kara trailed off as she stared at Cat's face and watched the hard lines soften into an expression of deep regard. "I got mad at my parents recently... Once..." she said. "But I guess I never thought it all out like that before. I never saw their actions as absolving me from responsibility."

"It isn't that they absolve you from responsibility for your actions now, but you certainly can't take the blame for everything that has led to this point. You can't blame yourself for your sister loving you." Cat thought for a moment and then corrected herself. "Well, maybe you are partially to blame there. You're rather adorkably lovable, so it would be hard for her to resist." 

Then, seeming to realize what she had just said, Cat's eyes widened, but Kara didn't give her a chance to backtrack.

"Thank you, Cat," she said, and the other woman was relieved that she was skimming right over her accidental admission.

Of course she didn't really consider it an admission, per se. Because she didn't love her assistant/Supergirl/KaraDanvers. She was just giving reasons why someone else might love her. Someone decidedly not her.

Meanwhile, Kara was quietly filing away Cat's words where she would be able to bring them out the next time she started feeling hopeless and rudderless without someone as close as Alex to talk to. She had felt her own heart flutter as Cat had spoken so strongly on her behalf. It was something she had felt before, but largely ignored as a sort of hero crush of her own. Now she wondered about giving those feelings slightly more room to grow.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

Cat wasn't accustomed to holding onto stories. At least not for very long. Once she had all her facts in order, she liked to write and print as quickly as possible; a holdover from being scooped once too often early on in her career. It was that inclination that had made Kara so reluctant to verify Cat's suspicions about her and it was that inclination which was currently at war with every other instinct in Cat's body.

She stood on her balcony at CatCo, swirling the ice in her otherwise empty glass and thinking about how close she had come to dying less than twelve hours earlier. It wasn't the first time she had been in danger, but it was the first time she had really felt the fear that she would not be around to see the sunset and that Carter would have to navigate the rest of his childhood and beyond without her.

Supergirl - Kara - had of course swooped in to save the day, this time accompanied by some skinny newcomer in a red body stocking, as far as Cat could tell. His style definitely needed some work. Oddly enough, it wasn't saving the famous Cat Grant that had been the biggest story of the day, however, it had been Supergirl risking her life to save first a helicopter reporter and then a crowd of people, leading to a complete one-eighty in the public's perception of the hero they had recently scorned.

So if ever there was a time to break the story of who the Girl of Steel really was, that time was now. Interest and appreciation was at a high, and any news item was sure to grab ratings and sell papers and magazines. It was definitely the story of a lifetime. But, Cat mused, it was Kara's lifetime, and for once, the public's right to know was being weighed against the interests of a single person and coming up far short.

At first, Cat had considered that it was her ridiculous feelings for the girl, which she was trying very hard to stifle, which were holding her back, but she knew it wasn't really that. It was that she couldn't find it in herself to potentially push someone into a permanent spotlight which they had never really asked for in the first place. The feelings and opinions of others had never figured very prominently in her decisions, not since that fateful story that she still felt had cost a young actress her life. Her relationship with Kara and her alter-ego had changed that. She made her see that individuals mattered and that kindness was perhaps not as overrated as she so often thought.

The displacement of air behind her and the softest of thumping sounds were Cat's cues that she was no longer alone. She had gotten over being startled by the other woman's sometimes very sudden appearance, but she was still surprised. She had assumed that Kara would be off celebrating her return to full-fledged hero status with her friends.

"Bit late for a fly-by. You should be off having a drink or whatever it is you do to relax, no?" she questioned. "National City has its hero back again."

Kara sighed, the tired sounding exhale going on for several seconds before she finally spoke. "Apparently, yes, they've decided they still want me to stick around. But my actions still cost me my sister and a close friend. That's something I can't forget no matter how many positive news items scroll across the CatCo screens."

Cat turned to fully face the other woman and put one hand on her hip as she appraised her.

"God! Looking at and listening to you now, it really is hard to believe that you're the same Sunny Danvers who puts up with me all day long and barely lets the smile leave her face."

Kara just raised one eyebrow and said, "Maybe that's all part of the disguise you're so quick to condemn."

Cat lifted her glass to her lips, remembered it was empty and set it down on the nearby coffee table a bit harder than necessary.

"So where's your new boyfriend? Terry?"

"Barry," Kara replied with a wry smile and shake of her head at Cat's intentional mistake. "And that would be one heck of a long-distance relationship."

"So just friends, then," Cat tried to appear disinterested.

"Just friends. And he went home," she said, almost sadly.

Cat picked up on her melancholy and was surprised to find herself saying, "I'm sorry," very sincerely. "He seemed like a nice enough guy."

"Very nice," Kara agreed, "and it was nice to talk to someone - you know - like me. Sorta. It's been lonely since..."

And Kara didn't have to finish that sentence for Cat to know who she was missing.

"Well surely James can fill some of that void," she said, again not knowing why she felt compelled to push for responses she wasn't sure she'd be happy to hear.

"Not the same," the other woman told her, "and for the record, he's just a friend too."

"But you want more, and I'm sure he - "

Kara cut her off with a firmness neither of them were expecting. "No. I mean maybe... Once... But after the whole psycho-Supergirl thing, he doesn't feel the same. He saw a part of me he didn't know was there, and he can't unsee it."

"Seriously? You tossed me off this building and I forgave you, but you say a few unkind words to him and he's all done with you?"

Kara just shrugged, and Cat felt like picking up her glass and hurling it into the wall.

"His loss," she said instead.

Throughout the entire conversation, Kara's thoughts had been racing as they tried to decipher the reason behind Cat's every word. She was sounding so much more open to her, and at the same time she seemed to be measuring each word before she said it. It was confusing, and perhaps even more so because Kara's own feelings were all over the place. Cat was right that she should be off drinking champagne or something with Winn and James and even Lucy. But she'd left all of them to fly to this balcony. She'd never specifically thought about hoping for Cat to be there, but it was pointless to tell herself that it hadn't been at the back of her mind. 

Cat was right. She had been tossed off of a building and had forgiven Kara mere hours later. She had tried to understand and even empathize with what had been going on with the younger woman. Meanwhile James had just pushed her away, saying that he needed time. Then when Barry was around, he had played the act of jealous boyfriend (much as she'd tried to ignore it) and yet he'd never even talked to her again about forgiveness or understanding or anything.

And now here she end seeking out not his company, but Cat's, a woman who had until recently vacillated between seeming to barely stand her to having some vague friendly feelings towards her. Something was definitely changing between them, and suddenly Kara was tired of trying to figure it out on her own.

"His loss?" she questioned. "I'm surprised you feel that way considering that up until a few weeks ago, you didn't want to be in the same room with me."

Cat was surprised by Kara's words although she guessed she shouldn't be.

"I thought we were past all of that," she said, airily, choosing to ignore the piercing look coming from blue eyes.

"Honestly, I don't know what to think anymore," Kara said, throwing up her hands. "I feel like my whole life - which was never normal to begin with - has gone completely sideways. Alex is gone, James is acting strange, Lucy knows my secret now! And you! You've spent two years calling me by the wrong name and yeah, giving me awesome advice and sure, I liked to sort of imagine that you liked me and that we were, well not exactly friends, but something," she continued to ramble while she paced, cape fluttering out behind her, "but now you're actually coming to me when you think I'm in trouble and defending me, and all these feelings I've always squashed down are welling up again and I don't know what to do with them because I don't know where any of this is going anymore."

Kara finished speaking and sat down heavily, immediately resting her forehead in her hands for a moment before tilting her head to the side to look up at Cat, practically begging for clarity.

Cat wasn't sure when she was last struck dumb with shock, but that was what was currently happening. Kara had said it herself; she was confused. Cat wasn't about to add to that confusion by spilling her own very tangled thoughts and emotions all over the place. She took a long deep breath while she tried to gather her thoughts before sitting down across from the very fragile looking superhero.

"You've been through hell over the last few weeks, and I'd be surprised if you weren't confused. For God's sake, you're probably suffering from some sort of PTSD or something," Cat said, schooling her voice to be the Ms Grant whom Kara was so very familiar with. "And I can admit that I probably added to that with the whole Siobhan fiasco, and that was before she turned into the Screaming Mimi."

Kara cracked a slight smile at that, but she could already sense where this was leading and she was already sure that whatever came from Cat's mouth was not going to be the whole truth.

"So, I'm sorry for that. Yes, I hope you have a very good memory, because that's the only time you're going to hear me say that. You're right when you say we'd into something more than employer-employee, and maybe I've been making more of an effort recently because I hope we can get back to that again."

With downcast eyes, Kara whispered, "So that's all it is? Nothing else is going on between us?"

Cat's heart stuttered within her chest, but her face showed no outward change.

"Well, confirmation of your Supergirl status has no doubt changed our interactions somewhat - "

"You know that's not what I'm talking about."

"Yes, and I'm trying to tell you that no, there is nothing else," Cat said quietly, while her brain screamed at her to come up with better excuses or just admit to her own confusing feelings, because there was no way that Supergirl, for crying out loud, was going to buy that load of bullshit.

But Kara didn't press, and she didn't prod. She just nodded, almost to herself, before standing up and walking back to the edge of the balcony again.

"I'm sorry I dragged you out so late," she said, "but thank you for coming."

"It was - " nothing, Cat started to say, but Kara was already airborne before she could finish.

Cat watched her until she disappeared against the dark sky, and then she went back inside to pour herself another drink.


	5. Chapter 5

"Well, damn," Cat muttered after filling her glass and setting it down untouched.

She knew that alcohol was not going to help her. She'd spent several months putting her feelings on mute, and now that they were speaking to her again, mere bourbon was not enough to shut them up.

She wasn't sorry that she had pushed Kara away. A relationship between them would be absolutely ridiculous for multiple reasons. First, she was old enough to be her mother. Sure, she kept herself in good shape, but that didn't change the fact that she had twenty-five more years of life experiences. Kara was barely coming into her own, and who knew what sort of opportunities for relationships she could have if she didn't tie herself down to her first crush. Because Cat was certain that's all it was. Which was another reason to stop anything before it started. Then there was the whole employee/employer situation, and she really wasn't interested in being fodder for the gossip columnists, to say nothing of what it would do to Kara's reputation to be seen as a gold digger, just out to advance her career. 

As more and more reasons to stick to her guns filtered into her mind, Cat sank onto one of her white sofas, slumping forward until her head rested in her hands. The reasons kept flowing, but they couldn't push out the feelings that were shouting at her to stop making excuses. Cat had at first been sure that those flashes of something that she felt when her eyes met Kara's, were her own girl-crush. Hell, Kara was young and beautiful, and, as she'd noted that evening, adorkably loveable. Anyone would develop a soft spot for her.

This though, this was more than a soft spot, and Cat felt her heart pounding when she thought of Kara possibly quitting, of not seeing her on a daily basis. Kara, who usually played the subservient assistant role perfectly, but who could sometimes talk to her as an equal, and with so much insight. Kara, who knew her probably better than her own mother; who cared for Carter; who made every day more bearable just by being around. It was not lost on her that it was Kara herself that she dreaded losing and not her Supergirl persona. How had everything gone to hell so quickly and without her permission? This wasn't love, of course it wasn't. The power dynamic was too lopsided for that. But it was affection and fondness and respect and yes, as close to friendship as she'd allowed herself in years. Cat wasn't a fool, and she knew that if she lowered her guard, allowed herself to see Kara as just a woman and not her assistant, that maybe it could be more.

"Well, damn," she repeated.

While Cat was torturing herself with her own thoughts, Kara was flying out of the city as fast as she could. She had planned on going straight back to her loft, but had changed trajectory mid-way there and landed outside the DEO only a few minutes later.

The late hour meant that the base was populated only by a skeleton crew and was very quiet, with half the hallways on dimmed lighting and the offices and labs dark and locked. Kara walked with purpose through the veritable catacombs of the DEO, knowing exactly where she was going.

The door she arrived at was locked with keypad entry, and she tapped in the code quickly, the door sliding open with a hiss to reveal the armory within. Only agents of Alex's rank or above had the codes to enter, but she had given those codes to her sister in case the DEO was ever overtaken by people less tolerant of Kara's presence. Alex had wanted to make sure that Kara could get rid of anything that could cause her harm.

She knew it was purely psychosomatic, because all of the kryptonite weapons were sheathed or boxed in lead, but Kara still felt a touch of queasiness as she walked to the far wall and punched in another code which even fewer people knew. It released the locks on the weapons stored there, and Kara began opening drawers, searching for something. She found it in the second drawer she opened. A small lead box containing bullets made from pure kryptonite. It was slightly bulky, but she was able to fit it into the pocket at the back of her waist, hidden by her cape. With a burst of super speed, everything was locked up tight again and she was striding out of the secret government base.

Half an hour later, she was sitting on her sofa, half-way to the bottom of a bottle of rum which had materialized during one of the group game-nights and never been opened. She'd mixed it with Coke to hide the taste, and was glad to discover that her plan was working. She was comfortably numb, as she'd heard Alex describe it once when she'd asked what being drunk felt like.

Lack of sensation, thought and emotion was exactly what Kara was going for.

She was happy that the city seemed to love her again. She was happy to have had the chance to meet Barry, and happy to have helped him get home. Her working relationship with Lucy was something else to be glad about, and she really hoped that with time, things would work themselves out and Alex and J'onn would be able to return - hopefully with Jeremiah.

So much to be grateful for and happy about, but she just couldn't stop the deep feelings of loneliness, guilt and sadness from pushing them into a corner of her mind. She could be honest with herself and admit that her conversation with Cat had not helped. It wasn't that she had really expected anything different, but still... She did think that Cat was lying, but that didn't really matter when it came right down to it. The outcome was the same.

Rum sloshed onto the floor as she tried, unsuccessfully to pour it and soda into her cup at the same time. She knew that before long, she would have to get herself together and climb into bed so that she would be ready to face yet another day, but she wanted to remain numb for just a little longer.

The rapid knocking at her door, she at first couldn't understand. Like the baby who doesn't realize that you aren't really gone just because you've pulled a blanket in front of your face. Knocking should only happen during the day, and she should be able to see through the door to discover who it was. Now it was night, and she could only see white paneled wood, and even that was a bit blurry, so clearly no one could be knocking.

But the knocking came again, harder and more insistent sounding, so she surged to her feet and walked, very unsteadily, over to answer it.

"Who's there?" she asked, trying to keep her words from slurring together.

"It's me. Now let me in before I have the woman downstairs calling the police."

Of course Kara recognized the voice, but she still couldn't understand how it could be coming from the other side of her door. She'd left Cat back at the office, right? And she was probably home and asleep by now, right? She yanked open the door. Nope, apparently Cat Grant really was standing on the other side of her door, one hand on her hip and the other raised as if she was about to knock again.

"Cat?"

"Yeeees," she answered, drawing the word out as she looked at the younger woman, trying to figure out why she looked so confused. "My God, are you drunk?" she exclaimed as she slipped through the opening between Kara and the doorframe and then turned to watch that woman slowly close the door while still peering at her in confusion.

"What're you doin' here?" Kara asked.

"More importantly, how the hell are you drunk?" Cat asked. "I thought alcohol didn't affect you?"

Cat looked around the room, noting the now mostly empty bottles of rum and Coke, the small puddle on the floor, the tissues once again strewn on the sofa and, resting on the kitchen island, a small open box which appeared hold a sickly green night-light. She stepped closer and saw that the light was actually coming from a neat row of bullets and she wheeled around, eyes wide.

"What the hell is this?" she said, trying and failing to keep her voice calm. She already knew the answer, of course. It was a very poorly kept secret that Superman's one weakness was Kryptonite, and Cat could only assume that the same was true for Kara.

"That," Kara said, strolling closer and staring into the box, "is a leeeetle teeny bit of my home. Ironically, now it's poisonous to me. Losing my whole planet wasn't bad enough; I hadda lose even tokens t'remember it by."

Cat was not enjoying this morbid side of Kara. She would have expected a drunken Kara to be giggly, goofy and probably a hugger. This heavy-lidded and oh-so-lost looking version had not occurred to her, and she was not liking it. She slammed the box closed and pulled it away when Kara reached for it. 

"No you don't," she said. "I came over here to talk, not to watch you kill yourself with booze or fancy rocks or any combination of the two. Now how long before you sober up?"

Kara stalked back to the sofa, looking thoroughly put out. She picked up the bottle of rum and threw it back with two swallows.

"Hey! I'm trying to get you sober, not more drunk! Now how long?"

With a dismissive wave, Kara said, "Half an hour. An hour, tops. It was only dulling my powers, not taking them away completely. How do you think I was able to drink a bottle of rum and still walk around?"

"First, I didn't know you'd drunk the whole bottle, and second, I can hardly be expected to know the ins and outs of Kryptonite induced poisoning.

"No, of course not," Kara said, sounding bitter, but already losing some of the thick-tongued slurring speech. "Only five people in this city really knew me, and now two of them are gone."

It didn't take a mathematical genius to know that Cat was not among those five.

"I know you," she argued.

Kara looked up at her, and in that moment she no longer looked angry or bitter, she just looked sad.

"You know Kara your assistant, and Supergirl your hero. You don't know me. You don't know that I was at the top of my class at the Science Academy, but then almost flunked out of algebra during my first year of school on Earth. Everything was so overwhelming and distracting, and the work was stuff I'd done in my first year of schooling, but made so unnecessarily complicated." She shook her head as she remembered. "You don't know that I used to wake up every night screaming and that only Alex could calm me down. Well, once she decided she didn't hate me for disrupting her entire life. You don't know that I used to break things - doors, appliances, windows, ribs -" her voice wavered at that last admission. "Because I just couldn't keep control of my powers." She took a shaky breath, "You don't know that before I saved that airplane, I hadn't flown in years. Instead I'd spent years trying to fit in, trying to be normal, because if I was normal, maybe I could forget about how alone I felt."

The loft was silent save for the sound of the two women breathing. Cat had moved to sit on the edge of the sofa not-quite next to Kara. Now she very hesitantly reached out and placed a hand over one of Kara's where it sat clutching at the cushion.

"You're right. I don't know any of those things. But maybe I want to."

Kara's head snapped up to look her in the eye, but Cat didn't flinch away from that questioning gaze. She held steady, waiting for Kara's inevitable rebuke.

"Now you want to know me? A few hours ago - "

"A few hours ago, I was being stupid and selfish and yes, scared of what could happen between us. Not because I think you could snap me like a twig - although I suppose that technically you could - but because I know that you have so many people out there who could potentially be better for you, and eventually you'll come to your senses and realize that."

The younger woman was shaking her head, partially in disbelief, but mostly in response to Cat's assumptions.

"I think you're wrong about that," she said simply.  
Cat shrugged. "Maybe."

"So you came here to..." she trailed off with a question in her tone.

"I came to apologize. Again. God, that's twice now," she shook her head in exasperation. "And I came because I didn't want you to go to sleep thinking that you'd been wrong to tell me what you were feeling. I was the one who was wrong for trying to deny it. I'll admit that I don't know exactly where any of this is going, but I do know that my feelings for you are more than just "professional"," she said, making air quotes with her fingers, "and even if it doesn't lead to anything more than a deeper friendship, I would be willing to try, if you are."

It was probably one of the most emotionally honest speeches Cat had ever given to her, and Kara had to take a minute to process it before responding. Finally she turned her hand over and curled her fingers around Cat's.

"I am definitely willing."


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, okay, so I didn't dive straight from the Flash episode to the Myriad episodes. It feels more natural for there to have been a bit of a break between the two. The final chapter will cover the Myriad stuff, and wrap this up with a tidy little bow. :)

On that very first morning at work after that heartfelt discussion, Cat motioned for Kara to follow her into her office even as she stepped off the elevator and grabbed her coffee from the younger woman. There was a tight, slightly uncomfortable expression on Cat's face which made Kara a little nervous. After everything else, she could not bear it if Cat decided that everything they'd said in the dark of night was a mistake.

Kara gave her a questioning look as they passed into the all-glass office, and Cat asked her to shut the door and join her on the balcony.

"This isn't where you take back everything you said, is it?" Kara asked, deciding to be up front with her fears.

Cat shook her head and looked like she was thinking about exactly how to phrase her next thoughts.

"No, this is about some new rules here in the office."

"New rules?" Kara asked with some trepidation. "I assumed we would keep everything the same.

"Yes, yes, for the most part, I agree. But there are just a few things that need to change."

"Such as?"

Cat let out a long breath before saying, "I need to you do a worse job as my assistant."

Kara blinked a few times, not quite comprehending what she was hearing.

"E-excuse me?" she stuttered.

"Exactly what I said, Keira - Kara - " Cat paused and pressed her fingers to her temples. "I'm sorry. This conversation is as much personal as professional, and you deserve to hear your real name."

Kara could tell that Cat was feeling just as out of her element as she herself was, and she tried to be sensitive to that. Feeling unsure of herself was something she was familiar with, but Cat Grant had always held herself above such things.

"Oookay, but I'm not quite sure what you mean. I don't think you want me to start forgetting meetings and giving your proofs straight from the sports writers."

"No, you're right about that," Cat replied with a wry little chuckle. "Look, Kara, I'm twice your age and I've been in newsrooms for most of those extra years. I know how hard it is for a woman to fit in and work her way up to the top. I know how women are expected to do whatever their bosses want. Including activities that are much, much less than professional." She looked at her meaningfully, causing Kara's eyes to widen.

"Ms - Cat! I know that's not what this is and I know you would never expect or want that from me or anyone else."

"Yes, yes, but there is an undeniable inequity of power between us, and that needs to diminish if whatever this is, " she motioned vaguely with her hands, "is going to move forward."

Kara chuckled and fiddled with her glasses before saying, "No offense, but I can bench press a plane, so I'm pretty sure I hold the power here."

Cat raised one eyebrow.

"Really? How many times did you run to Noonan's last week because I told you the latte was too "frothy"?"

"Well..."

"Exactly."

"But that's part of my job! And I'm fine with that."

"I know you're fine with it, but really, as much as I love it, you catering to my every ridiculous whim should not be your job. This isn't a remake of "The Devil Wears Prada"."

"I think you're wrong about that. Making your day run smoothly is pretty much the definition of my job - "

Cat cut her off. "And how many other assistants do you think can hear their bosses muffled groans and immediately race in with painkillers? How many can use super speed to race across the city - or across the country for that matter - to get a complicated lunch order? How many memorize their boss' entire contact list so that they can dial their therapist at a moment's notice?"

"Welllllll..."

"And the fact of the matter is that you do all of those things without being asked, without even thinking of questioning me, and half the time without me even acknowledging you. You're the perfect assistant, Kara. Perfect because you are willing to do almost anything for me. And that is exactly what I can't have if," again she gestures vaguely, "this is going to happen."

"Even if I know you'd never use that power to take advantage?"

Cat gave a tiny smile at Kara's innocence.

"Kara, I already do. Just not for anything truly important. I'm not saying that we're ever going to be equals in the workplace. Obviously not. But we are equals as women. Frankly, you're a better person than I am," she said with a little shrug, "and you deserve and should expect more respect from me."

Kara wasn't sure what to say to that. Cat's words made sense, but at the same time, they tilted her world view in an unexpected way.

"Umm... Okay... Then how am I supposed to act here at work?"

Cat stood up and started pacing near the balcony wall.

"Well, I wouldn't think that much would change all at once. Old habits die hard, after all. But to start with, no more "extra effort" on the job, if you know what I mean. I shouldn't be expecting impossible things from you and more importantly, you shouldn't be agreeing to give them to me. You spend every day trying to be perfect in the office and out there," she said, motioning to the city. "God, the stress would be enough to put me into in-patient therapy, so I'm not sure how you manage, but it needs to stop. I'm not saying you can start slacking off, but I'm also not going to fire you if my lettuce wrap comes from down the street instead of across the city, and yes, you need to say no to me if I'm asking for something unreasonable. Admittedly, you've made the unreasonable seem everyday to me over the last two years, so that may take some work on both our parts."

She sat back down next to Kara, probably closer than necessary, and the younger woman felt a flush of warmth suffuse her body.

"Wow. I was not expecting any of that," she said quietly.

"Yes, well, neither was I, until I started lying awake thinking about it."

"I guess I can see your points though. Being, umm, whatever, outside work starts with me not being quite so subservient here at the office."

"I'm not sure I like the word subservient - I hope I haven't been that bad - but yes, something like that."

Kara smiled and placed a tentative hand over Cat's.

And so the two women began a week of relative peace and calm before the disaster that was Myriad. It wasn't long enough to get further than the "getting to know you" stage of their relationship or friendship or whatever kind of ship they were in but refused to name. It was, however, long enough for both of them to realize that their respective feelings were stronger than they had allowed themselves to admit.

Despite their balcony conversation, as far as work went, very little changed. Kara was still Keira except behind closed doors - and even then most of the time - and she still scurried about fetching lattes and lettuce wraps and arranging Cat's schedule and proofing layouts and the dozens of other things that encompassed her job. There was, however, a slight shift in the dynamic between the two women.

The change was subtle but it was there. Cat stopped demanding things which she knew were difficult and which she also knew were unnecessary. Actually, she stopped demanding things altogether, and started asking for them instead, and actually voicing appreciation when she received them. 

Kara was used to reading Cat's every move and anticipating her needs ahead of time, but she could see how things couldn't move forward if Cat knew that she was constantly on edge. Kara was Cat's assistant, but she wasn't an extension of her, and Cat had been taking advantage of how Kara always managed to do everything she asked along with a dozen things she didn't ask. With the new no-superpowers rule in place, she noticed almost immediately that Kara was more relaxed around her, and it was totally worth the slightly substandard lettuce wraps and a latte that was a few degrees too cool.

That didn't mean that all of the subtle little Kara touches disappeared from CatCo, because she really did enjoy making Cat's daily life easier and happier. The jar of M&Ms never went empty. The fridge in her office bar was always stocked with her favorite juice and bottled water. There was always a spare outfit, fresh from the drycleaner hanging in her private dressing room in case of clothing disaster. Cat's schedule always had an unlabeled fifteen minute slot blocked off in the afternoon so that she could call Carter after school. And if that first latte of the day always got a brief shot of heat vision, well no one was perfect, right?

At the same time, Cat pushed herself to be more demonstrative in very tiny ways. She invited Kara to the balcony to eat lunch with her. She had a box of fruit subtly stored under her assisstant's desk when she realized how much extra food she needed each day, and how much of it ended up being junk food from the vending machine or the bottom drawer of her filing cabinet. And if a single fresh flower replaced the silk daisies in Kara's desktop vase each day, well Cat certainly knew nothing about that aside from the fact that she'd always found silk flowers tacky.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, okay, so this was supposed to be the last chapter, but this scene got in the way and I didn't want to seque into the rest. So one more chapter in a couple of days!

Alex Danvers had not expected to be in the elevator at one of the swankiest apartment buildings in National City just two days after helping to save the world. Truth be told, she was still exhausted, physically and emotionally, and would rather have been taking a week-long nap. However, murmurings from her half-conscious sister had made the trip uptown, if not mandatory, at least highly advisable. Because apparently her sister had feelings for Cat Grant, and apparently those feelings were reciprocated, and Alex had more than a few words to say about that.

The gold-toned doors slid open with barely a sound, and Alex stepped out into a hallway carpeted in an oriental pattern and lit by gilt fixtures suspended from the center of the ceiling. Even the air held a scent of extravagance, impossible to pinpoint, but impossible to miss. Alex walked down the short hallway to the Grant residence.

It wasn't too late, so she knew that Cat would be awake, but she was still surprised by how quickly the door swung open at her knock, and how crestfallen the older woman looked a moment after registering who it was at her door.

"Expecting someone else?" Alex asked, arching one brow. "My sister, perhaps?"

Cat colored faintly but gathered herself immediately.

"No. I would expect her at the balcony door," she replied, watching as Alex's expression turned at once fond and melancholy. "But come in, come in. Back to threaten me some more? I sort of thought that after working together on the Myriad problem, you'd feel free to just call when you need something."

Alex would have rolled her eyes if she hadn't known that was exactly the reaction Cat was looking for. She moved inside and automatically scanned the open-concept living area of the penthouse. She had expected a continuation of the hallway's pretentious fussiness or the stark whites of the CatCo offices, and she was surprised. The furniture was mainly soft looking leather or earthen toned fabrics, and the style was relaxed and somewhat eclectic, with a mix of mission-style, modern and cottage chic.

"I didn't come to threaten," she said as she didn't wait to be directed before taking a seat in the living area. "I came to talk about Kara. I'm sure you've been wondering what the hell happened after we thought we'd defeated Myriad, and I just want you to understand what Kara went through over the past forty-eight hours," Alex said, looking stern and somber.

"Well I figured that something had happened and then been corrected, what with the debilitating headache followed by the abrupt lack of headache," Cat remarked, trying to maintain her aloof persona.

"Yeah, that headache was the feeling of your brain almost exploding within your skull, thanks to an enhanced Myriad signal. Non decided that if he couldn't save the planet by controlling us, he'd save it by killing us. Kara had all of a quarter of an hour to fight him and destroy the signal before losing everyone she cares about. Again."

Cat paled, not realizing just how dire the situation had been and now very afraid because Alex had not made any statements about how Kara was doing, or where she was.

"Is - is she..." she cleared her suddenly hoarse throat, "And clearly she did that," she took her question off the table and decided to lead with a statement instead and she wasn't sure if it was because she wasn't ready to hear the answer, or because she didn't want to appear weak before this woman who was so clearly Kara's source of strength.

Cat twisted her hands together in an old habit she had worked very hard to break, and upon realizing what she was doing, she clenched one into a fist on her thigh and brought the other up to idly stroke the chunky necklace at her throat.

"Yes, Kara saved the day. As usual," Alex said with a shake of her head, as if she still couldn't believe that her sister had pulled off the near-impossible. "She lifted an entire alien prison ship, weighing tons, and making the Titanic look like a bath toy. And then she carried it up and out into space."

Cat's eyes widened. "Space? But - "

Alex met her gaze and didn't waver as she said, "She didn't expect to come back. She put the fate of this planet and the people on it - even the people who still hate and fear her - above her own life. And do you know what the worst part was? She used her last words to me to tell me to go have a good life. To do everything she thought I was missing out on because she's my sister. Because that is who she is."

"For God's sake, please just tell me if she's alive or dead!" Cat burst out, immediately pressing her hand to her mouth to prevent anything more embarrassing from spilling out, like a sob.

Alex let out a short gasp and leaned forward to grab the hand Cat was currently digging into her own knee.

"Cat, she's alive! God, I'm sorry. I didn't realize how I was sounding. She's alive and she's going to be fine. The doctors even released her to go to her apartment for a little celebration meal last night as long as she returned right afterwards to recuperate on her sun bed."

Cat released a breath that sounded like a cross between a sob and a laugh, and then pressed both hands to her eyes, willing the sudden tears to stay exactly where they were. But then she heard an equally strangled sound from the woman across from her and looked over to see tears in Alex's eyes as well.

"We're a pair," Alex said, shaking her head. "Total hard-asses except when it comes to one foolishly self-sacrificing superhero."

Cat nodded, still not trusting herself to speak. Then she took a breath and tried to shake off her outburst of emotion with a pithy one-liner.

"Yes, well, hearing that your brain was almost turned to goo is enough to rattle even me."

Alex just stared at her.

"Fine - and hearing about Kara."

Alex narrowed her eyes. She had intended to ease her way into her next topic for discussion, but suddenly changed her mind.

"You know, you were only supposed to talk her into going back to work," she said. "You weren't supposed to get into her pants."

"What?!" Cat exclaimed, the conversation unexpectedly taking a sharp right turn.

"Yeah, Kara talks when she's really out of it, and your name cropped up a lot. A. Lot."

Cat drew herself up to her full, if still diminutive, height.

"I can assure you that nothing of the kind has taken place between your sister and myself."

"And nothing of the kind is ever going to take place?" Alex questioned.

Cat was stymied for a moment and then gracefully collapsed back onto the sofa.

"So is this where you give me the 'If you hurt my little sister...' talk?" Cat asked blandly.

"No," Alex answered simply. "Kara is an adult and she can make her own decisions and I will respect them even if I don't always agree or understand. If those decisions turn out to be mistakes, then I'll be the soft place she can always come to regroup."

"But you do have something to say about it all, don't you?"

"Only that Kara is a very special person, but you already know that. And that I hope you will think for a long time before you do anything that might hurt her. That's not a threat. It's a request."

"Request noted," the other woman said with a small dip of her head in acknowledgement.

There was a brief pause in the conversation, and then Cat spoke again.

"You didn't tell me how Kara managed to get back to Earth."

Alex shrugged. "Oh. I took the pod she came to Earth in, and flew up there to bring her home."

Cat's eyes went very wide and filled with a new respect, but all she said was, "Thank you."


	8. Chapter 8

The weather reports had said that a temperate breeze would be blowing in from the coast, and the doors between Cat Grant's office and balcony were wide open to take advantage of it. She sat at her desk as the air ruffled the hair around her face and brought the slight scent of ocean with it. She was just shutting down her computer and as the screen went blank she stood, but headed for the balcony rather than the elevator.

She was startled when she saw not Supergirl, but Kara Danvers standing near the edge. She was wearing slim fitting black pants and a pink top which appeared to be silk. Her hair was pulled back in its usual ponytail, but her glasses were notably absent.

"I - I didn't hear you land."

"I was trying not to disturb you. I wasn't even sure you would be here."

"Oh, you know, just reviewing the layouts tonight," Cat said, pretending an aloofness he no longer felt around this woman. "Or, maybe every night since I last saw you."

Kara was surprised and it showed.

"Cat, you shouldn't have been waiting for me. You need rest, and what about Carter?"

"We've been on skype every evening until bedtime," Cat assured her, "and it's not like I spend all night here... I just linger for a few hours."

"I'm sorry it's taken so long for me to make an appearance."

"It's only been two days, Kara. And speaking of appearances..." she motioned to the lack of Supergirl outfit.

Kara shrugged. "I didn't want to talk to you as her - or, well, I mean I am her, but in the outfit... It's a costume, and not the real me, and I just wanted to see you as myself. Kara Zor-El Danvers."

"You, know that's who I see when I look at you now, don't you?"

"Yes, but sometimes it's nice to remind myself."

They turned to face the city instead of each other, and silence fell over them for several minutes. Cat felt herself tensing up in an unfamiliar way. She didn't do nervous, but she couldn't place any other name to what she was feeling. She knew that something had begun to form between them. She knew that they both welcomed it. She had gone into this thing - whatever it was - with her eyes wide open, but somehow the events of the past few days had magnified both the risks and the rewards of fully opening herself up to the younger woman.

Here, after all, was the woman who had literally given up her life to save the planet, and the same devotion she showed to the world, she would surely show to those she held closest. Cat knew that if she let herself be loved by Kara, she would never in her life have anyone who came close to cherishing her in the same way. But she would also never in her life have anyone who came so close to risking her life on a regular basis.

She glanced over and saw Kara seemingly entranced by the lights shining throughout National City. In a moment she knew that the risk of someday losing her to her acts of selflessness was a risk she was willing to take if it meant being able to share all of the moments between now and then.

"It's a shame there wasn't anyone around to take your picture when you were lifting that ship," she said in a casual sort of way which was really anything but. She had been wondering if Kara was ever planning to tell her what exactly had happened.

"How?" Kara asked as she turned and took a step closer. Then she nodded her head and rolled her eyes. "Alex. She called you?"

"Came to visit, actually," Cat replied.

"Uh-oh. She didn't have her gun with her and launch into a whole "don't touch my sister" speech, did she?"

"Well, I don't think she goes anywhere without her gun, but no she didn't say anything like that. Apparently she just thought I should know what happened and was correct about you being too foolishly humble to tell me yourself."

"I was going to tell you. Eventually."

"You almost died. Seems like that might be what you'd lead with when you see the person you're - whatever-ing with for the first time since it happened."

Kara shrugged again in what Cat was beginning to think was a Danvers family habit.

"It all turned out okay."

This time Cat was the one to roll her eyes. But then she fixed them back on Kara's face and unexpectedly reached out to grab her hand.

"I thanked your sister," she whispered, and Kara just bowed her head as a blush colored her cheeks.

"I'm sure she appreciated that."

"Not sure," Cat said. "She just shrugged it off. Not unlike you."

Kara chuckled a little and squeezed Cat's hand gently.

"So... That really was a suicide note you were dictating to me in my office before you left."

"Kinda?"

"Is that a question or an answer?"

"A little of both. I wasn't sure if I would survive, but at that point I thought it was just going to be my uncle who killed me. I didn't know I was going to be lugging Fort Rozz off into space."

"Well, that's something, anyway," Cat commented, sarcastically.

"Hey," Kara argued. "If I had been sure I was going to die, I would have said more."

Cat was curious, and Kara could read it in her eyes.

"I would have said that I regretted that we wouldn't have more time together," Kara supplied. "And I would have said that I never, ever regretted coming to work here. And I would have said that knowing you at all, and then having the chance to know you better, even if it was only for a week, was one of the things I treasured most."

Feeling her eyes growing teary, Cat blinked rapidly before lightly slapping Kara on the arm.

"Hopelessly sappy romantic," she admonished.

"Says the woman with tears in her eyes," Kara said with a smirk.

Cat rolled her eyes again, but this time she tugged on Kara's hand and pulled her close.

"Just get over here and kiss me."

The words were a demand, but Kara heard and saw the slight question coming from Cat. The "is this okay?" went unspoken, but it was clearly there. Kara answered it by closing the small distance between them and leaning down for a slow and gentle meeting of lips.

When Cat pulled away, long minutes later, she placed one slender finger against Kara's lips, motioning for her to sit before disappearing back into her office again.

Kara felt uncertain, perching on the edge of sofa cushion and keeping her x-ray vision in check. It seemed as if a new line in point in their relationship was being crossed, and change, even good change, was always difficult for her.

She didn't need to be worried though, because when Cat returned she was carrying a bottle of very expensive champagne, two glasses and a rather uncertain expression herself.

"I thought we might celebrate?" she said, cursing herself for breaking her own 'tell, don't ask' rule. "End of the world avoided and all that," she continued lightly. "And, well, hopefully the start of some less stressful time for us to be able to..." She motioned rather vaguely between them, and Kara smiled at the fact that she wasn't the only one who felt that curious mix of nerves and anticipation.

"It would be nice to have a little while to ummm... date?... like normal people. Not that I'm exactly normal, and of course you! You're like the most powerful person in the city, so definitely not normal there either, but..."

"Yes," Cat interrupted her gently, a wide smile on her face, "Dating like normal people would be lovely."


End file.
